Wife/HusbandLOL
You have two choices in life. You can stay single and be miserable, or
get married and wish you were dead.
***
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another - 'Aren't you wearing
your wedding ring on the wrong finger?' 'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'
***
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds. 'Husband Wanted'. Next
day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing. 'You can
have mine.'
***
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let
her keep him.
***
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished .
***
A little boy asked his father, 'Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?' Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'
***
A young son asked, 'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?' Dad replied, 'That happens
in every country, son.'
***
Then there was a woman who said, 'I never knew what real happiness was
until I got married, and by then it was too late.'
***
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
***
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you
say -- talk in your sleep.
***
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking
they had no faults at all.
***
_ First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!' Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky,
mine's still alive.'
A WOMAN’S PRAYER: Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom - to understand a man, to
love and to forgive him. Patience - for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for
strength then I'll just beat him to death.
***
Husband says: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you
control your anger?
Wife says: I clean the toilet.
Husband says: How does that help?
Wife says: I use your toothbrush.
***
A guy appeared in court for killing his wife after catching her in bed with
another man. Passing sentence, the judge said: "Can I ask, why did you kill your
wife instead of just killing her lover?" The defendant replied: "But your honor,
is it not better that I just killed her rather than a different man each week?"
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Looney scene with lunatic Lou Maningas (2nd from
right), with Elsa Castillo,
Robert Chavez, James DC, and Nelson Garcia.
